Monday, January 28, 2013

I Still Wear Your Heart, Cyrene

August 19... should have marked as your 20th birthday. Barely two years ago, you broke my heart into pieces when we lost you to a tragic vehicular incident. I could still remember the day when we will send you away to your new world. I couldn't get across the street to watch you and we send you off to your new world... The pain was unbearable.

I, instead of going inside the funeral home, stood across the street, crying, as I have never cried so hard in my life. The tears blinded me, as I watched every second and bid my goodbye to you silently.

Then suddenly, a miracle happened, as I was about to see your coffin brought down from the stairs of the funeral home, I glimpsed on a shiny thing on the soil, setting just below on my left foot. My attention was caught on a small shiny thing, so I picked it up and it distracted me from witnessing you finally brought down and placed in the funeral car to be brought to the cathedral for your mass.

It was a final moment of bidding goodbye. Just then, I picked up that shiny little object, it turned out to be a silver pendant heart, a sign probably telling me that our tie was sealed by a heart forever.

I thank you silently in my heart for reminding me that despite the fact that you have returned to your Maker, you never failed to give me a sign of your sweet self by leaving a little white, silver pendant heart. I treasure it until today, I placed it in my silver bracelet and wore it even when I sleep, to keep you near me, all the days of my life.

Nobody could ever understand the pain I was into. I could not even describe it myself. It was so intense,that for months, I refused to believe that you are gone. I never had the courage to see you lie in your final bed.

But there are reasons for these things around us. It was the time I realized that God was so kind to me, because, even if He did not bless me with a child, and because of your loss, God made me realized that having a child and losing it afterwards was the worst pain that a parent can experience,worst than death itself. Probably, had it been my loss, I could either die too or kill somebody.

Today came an invitation brought by your mother, to remember a sweet child. Yes, I still ponder... what could have happened if you have lived at 20, a full grown young woman. God has reasons... a way to tell me that you will be an angel for us, watching us constantly.

No comments:

Post a Comment